Just a simple take on the Critic’s choice awards.
BEST PICTURE: Argo
It seems like they wanted to give this movie one last ‘hurrah’ before it gets shut out by other awards groups.
BEST DIRECTOR: Ben Affleck, Argo
Must be a consolation prize for his Oscar snub. Seriously, Academy. What the heck?
BEST ACTOR: Daniel Day Lewis, Lincoln
“That’s surprising,” says absolutely nobody.
BEST ACTRESS: Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Looks like she’s going to win the Oscar too. But little Quvenzhane Wallis is waiting in the wings.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Whoop! Whoop! Sorry, I needed an extra jolt after all those Academy snubs.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
It looks like voters are dreaming Hathaway’s dream. Wake up! She’s only in the film for ten minutes!
BEST ACTING ENSEMBLE: Silver Linings Playbook
I personally would have voted for Moonrise Kingdom, but this is my runners up.
BEST YOUNG ACTOR/ACTRESS: Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts Of The Southern Wild
Well, good to know that all the good in the universe still has a heartbeat.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Django Unchained
Because we’re just not done celebrating Tarantino, now are we?
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Lincoln
Well, yeah. No real shock here.
BEST FILM EDITING: Zero Dark Thirty
See, Mom? That’s two critics choice awards for Zero Dark Thirty. Now will you let me see it?
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Life Of Pi
Two thumbs up for Life Of Pi! Keep crossing your fingers and this will end up winning Best Picture.
BEST ART DIRECTION: Anna Karenina
This movie and Les Miz are ready to wrestle it out over Art Direction.
BEST COSTUME DESIGN: Anna Karenina
Hey, a period piece about british royalty! That hasn’t won this award in a few years!
BEST MAKEUP: Cloud Atlas
Take that, Academy!
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Life Of Pi
That’ll do, tiger. That’ll do.
BEST ANIMATED FILM: Wreck It Ralph
For the first time since its creation, this category is difficult to call.
BEST ACTION MOVIE: Skyfall
Shame it got in over Dark Knight, but, whatever.
BEST ACTOR IN AN ACTION MOVIE: Daniel Craig, Skyfall
Okay, he was awesome. Nobody does Bond like Craig does.
BEST ACTRESS IN AN ACTION MOVIE: Jennifer Lawrence, The Hunger Games
Odd that Lawrence won two awards tonight, but it makes sense that Jennifer would win something for this terrific performance.
BEST COMEDY: Silver Linings Playbook
What, did you think it was going to lose?
BEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY: Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
The three comedy categories are some of the most redundant awards categories in history
BEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
I do have to give Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis some credit for not turning to the camera and saying “I’m sorry, It’s too stupid.” They have courage.
BEST SCI-FI/HORROR FILM: Looper
I think everyone saw that coming.
BEST FOREIGN FILM: Amour
Didn’t care for it.
BEST DOCUMENTARY: Searching for Sugar Man
Where is Sugar Man, anyway?
BEST SCORE: Lincoln
I thought this might be going to Life Of Pi. Clearly, an Oscar vote divided against itself cannot stand.
BEST SONG: “Skyfall”, Skyfall
Hey, I’ll buy anything as long as Ted isn’t nominated.